Do you ever feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? As an ambitious individual, you often have a strong drive to excel and a natural inclination to take charge. However, this can sometimes lead you down a path of self-sabotage where you take on too much responsibility, leaving you overwhelmed.

How do you know whether you take on too much responsibility, what are the consequences for you and others, and how can you reclaim your focus?

wake up to the signs

Are you constantly frustrated with others for not meeting your expectations? Do often work late, resentfully fixing other people's mistakes? Do you spend your free time thinking about work and potential problems? These are all signs that you might be taking on too much responsibility.

Other indicators include:

• Feeling superior: you believe you always know the best way to do things.
• Micromanaging: you often direct and control others.
• People telling you: people often tell you that you're taking on too much or try to do everything yourself.

the consequences of taking too much responsibility

Taking too much responsibility has direct and indirect consequences. Even though it doesn't feel like it, this behavior impacte both yourself and those around you.

For yourself:

• You can't focus: when you deal with other people's tasks, you can fully focus on your work to be done.
• The quality of your work goes down because you loose so much mental and physical energy in other people's work.
• You're stressed, frustrated and anxious
• No fun: By spreading yourself too thin, you miss out on the fun in your life. Life is supposed to be a challenging and playful adventure, not a tiring job to be done.
• You're overwhelmed with work from constantly carrying heavy loads. Aren't you exhausted yet?

For others:

• You create dependency: When you constantly step in, others become reliant on you and won’t develop their own problem-solving skills. They will stop taking initiative, leaving you with even more work.
• You lower their confidence: Micromanaging and taking over tasks undermines their confidence and belief in their abilities.
• You block their growth: If you don't allow others to take ownership and learn from their mistakes, you block their professional development.
• You put a strain on your relationships: Excessive responsibility can lead to resentment and frustration, impacting your relationships with colleagues, friends, and family.

dare to be great

Ready to drop the burden of excessive responsibility? Here are some practical strategies to help you reclaim your focus and empower others:

• Create alternative options using this sentence: Do I have to do this?
  • Do you have to do this or do you have another choice? 
  • Do I have to do this or can someone else take over?
  • Do I have to do this or do I want to?
  • Do I have to do this or can I also say, write, plan, etc?
  • Do I have to do this or should I focus on something else? 
• Create clarity
  • Get clear on your goals: Define your core objectives and prioritize them. Don't get lost in the minutiae of tasks that don't align with your vision.
  • Define your responsibilities: Clearly outline your core duties and delegate tasks that belong to others, drain your energy, or fall outside your expertise. Invest your time and energy in areas where you excel. 
• Challenge your beliefs: Question your assumptions about others' competence and your need for control. Helpful belief switches for people taking too much responsibility are the following:
  • Delegating work does not mean letting go of control fully - build in checkpoints instead of taking over
  • I can trust others to follow through - communicate your expectations clearly and why X, Y, and Z are important
  • My worth is not dependent on how much people need me. - focus on what you do best and your sense of worthiness will be fuelled from the inside out.

Allow others the space to learn and develop at their own pace. Offer support and guidance rather than taking over. Embrace the idea that things might not always be done exactly as you envision. Allow for different approaches and outcomes.

By implementing these strategies, you can break free from the self-sabotaging cycle of taking too much responsibility.

You got this!

ps: when you first start doing this, people won't understand yet and that's OK. Communicate your new limits clearly and respectfully. Learn to say "no" (in a polite way) to requests that overextend you or fall outside your defined responsibilities.