Do you ever feel like you're holding yourself back? Does life or work feel like a constant battle? Do you find yourself stuck in cycles of taking too much (or too little) responsibility, procrastination, the need for control, self-doubt, or unhealthy habits?

You're not alone. Self-sabotage even hinders the most ambitious individuals from reaching their full potential.

what is self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage is any behavior – actions you take or avoid – that prevents you from achieving your goals and finding fulfillment.

It's a disconnect between what you want and what you do, often driven by subconscious patterns and beliefs.

the roots of self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is complex, shaped by our unique experiences, upbringing, and environment. Two fundamental drivers are:

• Survival mode: we develop unconscious coping mechanisms and survival strategies to protect ourselves from perceived threats, even when those threats are no longer present. These ingrained patterns often start in childhood and lead to self-destructive behaviors in adulthood.

• The need to belong: during our childhood, connection always wins from authenticity. We simply cannot risk not being cared for. This need for connection and acceptance can drive us to adopt behaviors we believe will make us more likable, even if they aren't in our best interests.

the paradox of self-sabotage: short-term gain, long-term pain

Ironically, at the start self-sabotage drives us to achieve great things. It can temporarily activate qualities like perseverance, taking loads of responsibility, creativity, resilience, and connecting with people. However, these gains often come at a price.

Self-sabotage comes at the cost of authenticity. It leaves you drained, unfulfilled, and disconnected from your true potential.

self-sabotage often starts subtly (3 phases)

1. Benefits: initially, the self-sabotaging behavior seems helpful, providing a sense of control or protection.

2. Annoyance: you sense something isn't right but may struggle to identify the root cause or find alternative behaviors. The perceived benefits still outweigh the downsides.

3. Burden: the negative consequences grow stronger, impacting your physical and mental well-being. Chronic stress, burnout, missed opportunities, and take a toll on your relationships and your well-being.

how to stop self-sabotage

1. Wake up: recognize and understand your self-sabotaging patterns. Learn about self-sabotage archetypes.

2. Choose: make a conscious decision to change. Do you have the courage to risk making mistakes, knowing they might be the path to genuine happiness?

3. Dare to be great: embrace your full potential. Follow your internal manual, take risks, and achieve your goals by stepping into your greatness.

you're not alone

You don't have to come up with solutions all by yourself. You're fortunate to be living in an era where there are many options to support your journey:

• Self-guided: explore books, online courses, or workbooks on self-sabotage.

• Professional help: work with a professional coach (hello there!) or therapist for personalized guidance and support.

Ready to break free from self-sabotage and live a more fulfilling life?

Book a free 15-minute call with me to discuss how activation coaching can help you unlock your true potential.